Two years ago, we boldly went around and asked 24 professional footballers what fruit they’d be if they had to choose, undeterred by the world events that have happened since, and keen to keep ourselves on the cutting edge of investigative journalism, we have once again, been at it. This time, the question a simple one: If you were an animal, what animal would you be and why?
Just like in 2019, all questions were asked in the pursuit of science and with the upmost respect.
Chloe Arthur: Aston Villa – midfielder – 26
Probably… I think a monkey because they’re quite cute and they’re just the most human-like animal you can get.
Jennifer Beattie: Arsenal – defender – 30
I’d be a koala bear because they’re cute.
Vilde Bøe Risa: Manchester United – midfielder - 26
I think I would be a cat; first of all, because I love cats, second of all, because they chose when they want to leave and when they want to stay. I like people a lot but sometimes I just want to be by myself and take care of myself and have a rest and also, I sleep a lot.
Hannah Cain: Leicester City – attacker – 22
I could say… the obvious one is a fox because I play for Leicester, but I’d say, a giraffe because they’re really tall and can see everything and I know that’s really random and not many would say that but I’m not that tall.
Dan Carter: Brighton – attacker – 28
I’m not an animal person, I don’t know if you’ve seen from my many tweets but maybe… I would say some type of bird but since I’ve been down in Brighton, those seagulls are something else… *pause* a dolphin. Because they’re so soft and cute and that’s just me as an individual.
Hawa Cissoko: West Ham United – defender – 24
Donkey. I just think they’re a really beautiful animal and really strong and everyone wants to take care of donkeys so I’d want to be a donkey on the beach.
Toni Duggan: Everton – attacker – 30
A monkey, so I could be cheeky.
Jessie Fleming: Chelsea – midfielder - 23
(Sat next to Reiten who’s just said bird) I was going to say bird too actually.
Valérie Gauvin: Everton – attacker – 25
An eagle because I’ve always loved watching eagles since I was a little kid, they’re powerful, they’re fast, they’ve got great vision and I just love to see them fly.
Natalie Haigh: Aston Villa – defender – 32
I think probably a giraffe, I’m all limbs and a bit unorthodox in how I move sometimes, so yeah, I’d say a giraffe because they’re my favourite animal.
Natasha Harding: Reading – midfielder – 32
Okay… I think I would be a Labrador so a dog but because people think I’m quite chilled but then you put me in an environment and I can be really scatty, I’m not saying I’d chew anything, but I could be… if left alone too long… I’m getting in trouble somehow but I could be there and be someone’s comfort blanket as well.
Vicky Losada: Manchester City – midfielder – 30
I think I’d be a dog, I’ve got two dogs and I love animals… so I think I’d be happy.
Katie McCabe: Arsenal – defender/attacker – 25
I like cheetahs, cheetahs look cool, don’t they? They look good and they’re quick… and they don’t really get up to much in the jungle either, they kind of just keep to themselves and I like that so, a cheetah.
Molly Pike: Leicester City – midfielder – 20
I’d want to be a dolphin, everyone loves them and they scare the sharks away… no, I just feel like they’re such a lovely creature and everyone loves a dolphin so I’d want to be that.
Louise Quinn: Birmingham City – defender – 31
I think… it probably…. I would actually say a giraffe, they’re strong and sturdy but still have jelly legs sometimes and I saw a picture the other day and saw that my neck is incredibly long. But I think they’re still a strong, well-liked animal that you always want to see when you go to the zoo, so I’m going to go giraffe.
Lucy Quinn: Birmingham City – attacker – 27
I think I’d have to be a monkey; I think I am a bit of a performing monkey, I think everyone knows that so I think I’d be lying to myself if I said anything else.
Guro Reiten: Chelsea – midfielder - 27
A bird so I can fly
Rachel Rowe: Reading – attacker – 28
Squirrel. I already know this because I love squirrels: fun, playful, ferocious – will bite you if you come too close. That’s why I’d be a squirrel.
Chioma Ubogagu: Tottenham Hotspur – attacker – 28
I really, really love monkeys but I think I’d chose a koala bear because they’re pretty chill: they sleep all the time and after they eat, they go back to sleep, so it just seems like it’s a pretty calm lifestyle so I wouldn’t mind.
Claudia Walker: West Ham United – attacker – 25
A monkey because I like climbing things.
Ellen White: Manchester City – attacker – 31
I’d say a cat, I think I’d be one of my cats at home, they get treated so well, they live the life; sleeping all day, eating what they want, going outside when they want.
Tori Williams: Brighton – defender - 31
A cat because…. No, I like dogs but a cat: you get fed as much as you want, all you’ve got to do is meow, you don’t actually have to do much… cats get to do whatever they want. A dog will do things if you teach them but a cat’s just like, “nah, you’re alright, put my food down… cat I have some cat nip? No? Okay I’ll just scratch the sofa and then I get the cap nip.”
Shelina Zadorsky: Tottenham Hotspur – defender – 28
You know what, my family has always compared me to meercats because I’m so excitable and just my energy and I’m just like always popping up and ready to bring the good vibes so I feel like that’s a funny one, not necessarily that I’d like to be one but I suppose I’d probably just pick and dog and be part of a great family.
Katie Zelem: Manchester United – midfielder – 25
I think I’d be a bird because you can fly around and see what other people are doing and chose where you want to go.