Hulu ads reveal how USWNT players approach homework

It’s just a fact of sports that sometimes athletes get paid to convince you to buy things. The latest is Hulu, which at least leaned into the rules about clearly marking ads on Twitter and Instagram and didn’t try to pretend a bunch of athletes suddenly cared very much that their followers get Hulu subscriptions. They just gave them a literal suitcase of cash with a Hulu jersey and let each of them tell us that Hulu has live sports. Guys, did you know that Hulu has live sports. The sports that are live are on Hulu.

No, what this really is is a way for us to evaluate how each player did their homework. Some of them clearly prepared and worked hard to complete the assignment. Some of them did their best but didn’t really engage with the material all the way. And some of them just completed the assignment so they wouldn’t get a zero. (Aka the Hermione, Harry, and Ron approaches.)

The Hermiones

Becky Sauerbrunn clearly prepared for this. She did some set decorating and came up with a script. And because she’s Becky Sauerbrunn, it was great.

It’s not necessarily the most entertaining one, but you can tell effort went into the setup with the shades and window rolling down.

Very “do the assignment exactly as the teacher instructed us to” with Dunn. She made sure to hit the beats, say the ad words, and put a plug for the Women’s World Cup in there.

Lloyd gets Hermione tier for picking an on-brand set with the ice bath, and for actually unwrapping the money to make it rain.

This is a top entry. Everything is happening here. The bathrobe, the view, “I don’t watch television.” A+ with bonus points Christen Press.

The Harrys

There’s not really a concept here, but because it’s Lindsey Horan, it has that classic deadpan Great Horan feel that makes it fun anyway.

Lots of energy and the sunglasses are a nice detail, but there’s no concept here. But it’s also short, vine length, which makes it a nice stinger compared to other, longer attempts.

There was an attempt, but also a blooper, which they submitted for grading anyway. No second takes here.

What makes this entry from Pinoe a Harry rather than a Hermione level grade is the first-person POV. The others had a camera set up, but Pinoe just did it organically. It’s definitely a very high-level Harry effort with some typical Pinoe flair, which you could argue actually puts it in the Hermione category.

The Rons

In bed, no cameraperson, no setup or props. She did the thing, now pay her.

This has big “I’m just here so I don’t get fined” energy.

We’re not getting paid by Hulu, by the way, but if they wanted to give us a free live TV subscription...